Halloween
November 1, 2006
I remember the Halloweens I celebrated at a child growing up in Newark, N. J. Things were safe then. No razor blades or poisons in the candy. No weirdoes inviting you into the house for illicit sex. No, Halloween was fun back then.
All the kids decided on their various costumes---which didn’t seem to vary much from year to year. It seemed we took turns with costumes so that one year I would be a pirate and the next year it might be Nicky or Johnny Rainy. We’d parade around the streets, tripping over costumes that were too long for us, and dragging our candy bags along behind us.
Each door was a new experience for us. Some people gave us fruit, some candy, some cookies. Others baked special goods. Cookies in the shapes of witches, devils, that kind of thing. Many times we were invited in, given some hot cider or juice, allowed to show off our costumes. And then of course the guessing games where the host tried to identify each kid. They always seemed to manage that rather well.
Nicky and Gino had really neat parents, especially Danny the father. He was a real clown, full of fun, always coming up with new ideas. And they always had a party for Halloween, so after we got done trick or treating, we all traipsed up to their second floor home and indulged in more goodies and games.
The first year I went, they were having different kinds of tricks. Each kid who performed his trick got a special prize. This was usually a Captain Midnight special message ring or Lone Ranger key ring. My project was to blow a ping pong ball off a shoe box. That seemed simple enough even for a kid with asthma. They balanced the ball on the box, letting me see it roll off a few times and they finally got it stabilized. My hands were tied behind my back and a whistle sounded. I had ten seconds to blow the ball off the box.
I gave a little puff, thinking that would be more than enough and I admit I was feeling pretty smug about the easy trick I had drawn. But the ball didn’t move much. I decided I hadn’t blown hard enough and so I gave a stronger puff. The ball still didn’t move. And then, I exhaled a mighty blast, taking in every ounce of air I could and expelling it right behind the ball.
Nothing.
And there was nothing because they had stuck the ball to the box with chewing gum. When they tried to suck the ball up with a vacuum cleaner, it lifted the whole box…but the ball stayed put. Well, we all had a hell of a laugh and it was a fun time I have remembered all these years. I remember ducking for apples in a large basin. Danny carefully greased each apple with butter and more than one kid—hands behind his back—lost it and went face down into the basin. And he couldn’t “trap” the apple either. He had to seize it in his teeth while it was bobbing up and down.
I guess the parties lasted until we were all about fourteen. We didn’t have a lot of money so the costumes had to be original and we tended to keep it simple. It was almost more make-up than costume.
Nothing fancy like robots or space creatures. We did bandits and Indians, pirates, cowboys, ghosts (what could be simpler than a sheet with holes in it).
When I think of the precautions we must take today, I realize how far this nation has come down the wrong road. Undoubtedly the drugs have played a substantial role. Liberal courts have played another letting sex offender off with light treatment. Parents no longer monitor their kids as ours did. (most anyway) Our parents knew where we were and who we were with, not to mention what time the party was over and what time we should be home.
If you got snotty with a neighbor or disrespectful to an adult, you heard about it from your mother or father. But if you needed help, that same neighbor was there to give it and there was no danger. I wish that were true today.
For the last two years our neighbors have reinstated Halloween Parties. Last year I went as a Mexican. This year, I went as a cowboy, completely with unloaded six-shooter. I also get to make the punch. Last year an unsuspecting participant had a little too much punch and spent most of the night giggling, in between trips to the bathroom. Since the girls chose the last two events, the boys get to choose next year.
I suggested we go as pirates, not very original but it does have an upside. As pirates, we get to burn villages, pillage for gold and jewels and rape all the pretty women. We can even make someone walk the plank. What are my chances of all this happening? About as good as making the New York Times Best Seller’s list with my book Tears and Tales … which incidentally can be ordered by contacting Russ@krazyduck.com $16.95, free shipping and I’ll autograph it for you. Ah yes, that was Halloween before the madness that is now upon us.
Russell
I remember the Halloweens I celebrated at a child growing up in Newark, N. J. Things were safe then. No razor blades or poisons in the candy. No weirdoes inviting you into the house for illicit sex. No, Halloween was fun back then.
All the kids decided on their various costumes---which didn’t seem to vary much from year to year. It seemed we took turns with costumes so that one year I would be a pirate and the next year it might be Nicky or Johnny Rainy. We’d parade around the streets, tripping over costumes that were too long for us, and dragging our candy bags along behind us.
Each door was a new experience for us. Some people gave us fruit, some candy, some cookies. Others baked special goods. Cookies in the shapes of witches, devils, that kind of thing. Many times we were invited in, given some hot cider or juice, allowed to show off our costumes. And then of course the guessing games where the host tried to identify each kid. They always seemed to manage that rather well.
Nicky and Gino had really neat parents, especially Danny the father. He was a real clown, full of fun, always coming up with new ideas. And they always had a party for Halloween, so after we got done trick or treating, we all traipsed up to their second floor home and indulged in more goodies and games.
The first year I went, they were having different kinds of tricks. Each kid who performed his trick got a special prize. This was usually a Captain Midnight special message ring or Lone Ranger key ring. My project was to blow a ping pong ball off a shoe box. That seemed simple enough even for a kid with asthma. They balanced the ball on the box, letting me see it roll off a few times and they finally got it stabilized. My hands were tied behind my back and a whistle sounded. I had ten seconds to blow the ball off the box.
I gave a little puff, thinking that would be more than enough and I admit I was feeling pretty smug about the easy trick I had drawn. But the ball didn’t move much. I decided I hadn’t blown hard enough and so I gave a stronger puff. The ball still didn’t move. And then, I exhaled a mighty blast, taking in every ounce of air I could and expelling it right behind the ball.
Nothing.
And there was nothing because they had stuck the ball to the box with chewing gum. When they tried to suck the ball up with a vacuum cleaner, it lifted the whole box…but the ball stayed put. Well, we all had a hell of a laugh and it was a fun time I have remembered all these years. I remember ducking for apples in a large basin. Danny carefully greased each apple with butter and more than one kid—hands behind his back—lost it and went face down into the basin. And he couldn’t “trap” the apple either. He had to seize it in his teeth while it was bobbing up and down.
I guess the parties lasted until we were all about fourteen. We didn’t have a lot of money so the costumes had to be original and we tended to keep it simple. It was almost more make-up than costume.
Nothing fancy like robots or space creatures. We did bandits and Indians, pirates, cowboys, ghosts (what could be simpler than a sheet with holes in it).
When I think of the precautions we must take today, I realize how far this nation has come down the wrong road. Undoubtedly the drugs have played a substantial role. Liberal courts have played another letting sex offender off with light treatment. Parents no longer monitor their kids as ours did. (most anyway) Our parents knew where we were and who we were with, not to mention what time the party was over and what time we should be home.
If you got snotty with a neighbor or disrespectful to an adult, you heard about it from your mother or father. But if you needed help, that same neighbor was there to give it and there was no danger. I wish that were true today.
For the last two years our neighbors have reinstated Halloween Parties. Last year I went as a Mexican. This year, I went as a cowboy, completely with unloaded six-shooter. I also get to make the punch. Last year an unsuspecting participant had a little too much punch and spent most of the night giggling, in between trips to the bathroom. Since the girls chose the last two events, the boys get to choose next year.
I suggested we go as pirates, not very original but it does have an upside. As pirates, we get to burn villages, pillage for gold and jewels and rape all the pretty women. We can even make someone walk the plank. What are my chances of all this happening? About as good as making the New York Times Best Seller’s list with my book Tears and Tales … which incidentally can be ordered by contacting Russ@krazyduck.com $16.95, free shipping and I’ll autograph it for you. Ah yes, that was Halloween before the madness that is now upon us.
Russell
posted by Russell | 6:43 PM
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